notes from liguria, italy

The invisible rules around the table

By Margherita Patrone - Oct 10, 2026 - 4 min read - Issue #15

Have you ever found yourself in a room full of people from different parts of the world and suddenly started noticing how differently everyone behaves?Not necessarily because of the languages they speak.But because of the little things.The gestures.The rhythm of a conversation.The way people interact with each other.Even the way they eat.A few nights ago, this happened to me in Prague.And it all started with a plate of beef tartare and a clove of garlic.A little corner of PragueFirst, apologies to my vegetarian and vegan readers. This story takes place in what I can only describe as a paradise for meat lovers.There is a restaurant in Prague called Kantýna, and I have completely fallen in love with it.Every time I come to Prague, I can't wait to go back.At the entrance, there is a wonderful butcher's counter where you can buy meat to take home or choose what you would like to eat and have it cooked for you.Then, as you walk further inside, you find this enormous room with a beautiful marble table where people stand together, eating, drinking beer and talking.It is noisy.It is lively.It is wonderfully informal.And a few nights ago, I found myself standing around that marble table, having dinner and looking at the people surrounding me.There must have been at least five or ten different cultures represented around that table.And what fascinated me wasn't necessarily what everyone was eating.It was how everyone was eating.Please, eat your food!At one end of the table, there were two people who seemed to be having a business dinner.They were talking intensely.Their food was sitting in front of them, almost untouched.And I remember thinking:Please, eat your food first!I know. Very Italian of me.Because for me, food deserves attention.If something delicious is sitting in front of you, why would you let it get cold?But then I realised something.I do exactly the same thing.Put me at a business dinner, particularly with someone I don't know very well, and suddenly food can stop being the priority.I become more conscious of the conversation.Of asking the right questions.Of listening.Of maintaining the rhythm of the interaction.The food becomes almost secondary.Which, as an Italian, makes me a little sad.But it made me wonder.How much of the way we behave around food is actually our own choice?And how much have we learned without even realising it?### The garlic experimentNow, back to the tartare.At Kantýna, they serve this delicious beef tartare with toasted sourdough bread and whole cloves of garlic.And this is where things became particularly interesting.Because everyone seemed to have a different idea of what to do with the garlic.Some people were cutting it into little pieces and mixing it with the tartare.Others were rubbing the garlic directly onto the toasted bread before adding the meat.Some were taking tiny pieces and eating them alongside everything else.Same ingredients.Same restaurant.Same table.Completely different approaches.And I found myself watching people almost as much as I was enjoying my dinner.Because there was something so fascinating about seeing how many different ways people could approach something so simple.And then another thought came to mind.What happens when you don't know what to do?You look around.You watch the person next to you.And sometimes, without even realising it, you copy them.### The invisible rulesThere is a fascinating concept in behavioural science called social norm.Social norms are the unwritten rules that influence how we behave based on what people around us do and what we believe is considered appropriate.And food is full of them.When should we start eating?How much should we take?Should we share?Should we finish everything on our plate?Is it polite to eat quickly?Is it rude to leave food behind?Think about it.Nobody handed us a manual explaining how to behave around a dinner table.We learned.From our parents.From our friends.From the places where we grew up.From the people surrounding us.And even when we enter a completely new environment, we continue learning by watching what others do.This is where social proof comes into play.When we are uncertain about how to behave, other people's actions can become a source of information.Imagine receiving that plate of tartare and garlic without knowing how you are supposed to eat it.You look to your left.Someone is rubbing the garlic onto the bread.And you think:Ah, so that's what I'm supposed to do.Perhaps you copy them.Perhaps someone else copies you.And suddenly, a behaviour that started with one person becomes something other people follow.Of course, not every difference around a table comes from culture. Personal tastes, habits, the occasion and even how hungry we are all play a role.But I find it fascinating that so many things we consider personal preferences may also be influenced by the people around us.### What brands sometimes forgetNow, this is where my love for consumer psychology comes in.Brands spend enormous amounts of time trying to understand what people want.Which flavour?Which packaging?Which price?Which product?And these are incredibly important questions.But there is another question that I find equally fascinating.What are the invisible rules surrounding the moment of consumption?Think about coffee.For some people, it is something to drink quickly on the way to work.For others, it is a ritual.A few minutes standing at the counter of an Italian bar.A conversation with the barista.A moment to pause.The product might be similar.But the meaning surrounding it can be completely different.Or think about snacks.Something you eat alone while working.Something you share with friends.Something you offer guests.Something you bring to a family gathering.The same product can play very different roles depending on the cultural and social context.And that is why I find global brands so fascinating.Because understanding consumers isn't only about understanding what they like.It is also about understanding how, when, where and with whom they consume.A product that makes perfect sense in one market might need a completely different approach in another.Not necessarily because the product is wrong.But because the ritual surrounding it is different.The strongest global brands understand that adapting to local cultures means paying attention not only to tastes, but also to behaviours.And sometimes the most valuable insights come from observing the little things people don't even think to tell you about.Like what they do with a clove of garlic.### A little secret from LiguriaNow, before I go, I want to share something that might change the way you eat bread forever.Remember that toasted sourdough with garlic?Most people rub the garlic onto the bread, add the tartare on top and eat it that way.But what if we turned the whole thing upside down?The garlic would touch our tongue first, potentially making its flavour much more noticeable.And this reminds me of something very close to my heart.Focaccia from Liguria.If you have ever visited Liguria, you will know that our focaccia is something we take very seriously.It has these beautiful little holes filled with olive oil and salt.And here is something not everyone knows.Traditionally, we eat it upside down.Yes, upside down!The side with the little holes, olive oil and salt should touch your tongue directly.That way, you experience that wonderful salty, oily surface first, rather than the plain underside of the bread.Same focaccia.Same ingredients.A completely different first bite.I find this fascinating because it reminds us that our sensory experience is influenced not only by what we eat, but also by how we eat it.And perhaps that is the most interesting part of this whole story.We spend so much time thinking about the things we consume.But we rarely stop to question the little rituals surrounding them.### This week's experimentSo this week's experiment is very simple.Next time you find yourself somewhere people are eating, take a moment to look around.A restaurant.A café.An airport.Even your own kitchen.Notice how people behave.Who starts eating first?Who takes their time?Who copies what someone else is doing?Who talks more than they eat?And then, perhaps more interestingly, notice yourself.Ask yourself:How much of what I call "my way" is actually something I learned from the people around me?And if you happen to have some Ligurian focaccia, try turning it upside down.See if you notice a difference.Because that night in Prague, surrounded by people from different parts of the world, I was reminded of something beautiful.We may have different habits.Different rituals.Different ways of approaching the same plate of food.But we also have so much in common.We gather.We eat.We talk.We observe.We learn from each other.And sometimes, all it takes to notice these things is a marble table, a delicious dinner and a little curiosity.Until next Saturday,Margherita